It is important to know the signs of complicated grief in order to seek out treatment to prevent more serious psychological or physical disorders. However before discussing these signs it is important to note that I am neither a psychiatrist nor a medical doctor. Whenever there is any question about an individual’s well-being a trusted member of the medical community should be consulted.
The Psalm tells us that there is “…a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a
time to mourn, and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4, King James
Version). If we live long enough most of
us will experience the feelings of grief when we lose a loved one. It is socially accepted that after the death
of a loved one that those left behind will participate in a short period of
public mourning. It is pretty evident by the typical business policy for
funeral leave of between 1 to 3 days off no matter the relationship of the
deceased loved one that our culture expects people to “get over it” and “move
on.” However that isn’t the reality and
private grief is veiled in mystery because it is different for each individual
and the type of relationship that individual had with the deceased loved
one.
There has been research into
“normal” grieving or better termed uncomplicated grief and the similarities in
experiences among those grieving. From
this research and reports from the grieving individuals themselves there have
been a loosely agreed-upon definition of grieving and the experiences of
grieving (Bolen, P. A. & van den Bout, J., 2008, January
15). With uncomplicated grief the
grieving person begins to adjust to life without the deceased love one. It isn’t a recovery but a process of changes
and adjustment that now allows the individual to live a different life. It can dramatically alter the person however
they are able to find meaning and purpose and allow themselves to have hope for
the future.
Some of the study results have shown that treatment or intervention for
uncomplicated grief is not helpful and there are professionals who believe it
is not only unnecessary but harmful to the natural progression. My personal opinion is that grief is
different for each individual and therefore options for support and treatment
are individual and should be decided by the grieving individual.
There are some people who may find grass-roots support
groups, run by those who have also experienced loss, most helpful; others may
find more formally-run bereavement educational groups, usually held at funeral
homes, hospitals, and hospices, a good fit; and others may find talking to a
grief counselor or mental health counselor something that is helpful and fits
their needs. There are other individuals
who have family and friends’ support that don’t feel the need for other support
but many people don’t have this type of support and may need to reach out to
these other avenues of support.
Approximately 10% to 20% of all bereaved individuals
will develop complicated grief (Lobb et al., 2010). Complicated
grief is sometimes called abnormal grief, chronic grief, or prolonged grief. Complications that can co-occur
or happen during complicated grief are depression, anxiety, post-traumatic
stress disorder, risks of heart disease, high blood pressure, and cancer. In addition the individual may continue to
struggle with coping with daily life functions and may also begin to abuse
drugs, alcohol, and nicotine.
There may be some risk factors that can cause
someone to be more susceptible to moving into chronic grief. Some of these risk factors include when the
death is unexpected, violent, or due to suicide; when there is a minimal
support system of family and friends, when the individual had a close or
dependent relationship with the deceased person. In addition there are some characteristics
that the individual possess that may predispose them to complicated grief, some
of these characteristics include, trauma at a child including abuse or neglect,
history of separation anxiety in childhood, difficulty adapting to life’s
changes and lack of resiliency, and prior psychological problems.
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