Grief experts caution that grieving people may turn
to addictive activities or substances in an attempt to cope with the loss. Grieving individuals may increase their use
of alcohol, abuse prescription medication, or begin using illegal substances as
a way to self-medicate. Unfortunately
this usually results in further problems because the grieving person is already
not functioning fully and these additional issues make life even more chaotic
and sometimes dangerous.
Alcohol use is so prevalent in our society and because
it is easily available, well-meaning friends or family may offer it to a
grieving person to “calm their nerves”.
The problem is that alcohol is a depressant and if you are already in
the throes of sadness due to grief this is going to make the problem
worse. In addition the physical toll
from alcohol abuse will combine with the stress effects from the grief to make
you even more exhausted and unable to cope with daily tasks.
A message from the Dean of Students at Purdue University put it very well;
“resorting to drugs [or alcohol] of any kind only turns down the sound while
the music keeps playing.” The grief is
still going to be there and in the end you still must do the work to travel
your own healing journey. Nothing can
take away the pain and numbing yourself to it will only delay the inevitable. Many recovering addicts tell of beginning
their addictions after a significant loss.
Once they become sober, even if it is a decade later, they still must
experience the grief and go through a painful, delayed grieving process.
My use of food was my own negative coping behavior
to try to shelter myself from the pain.
It didn’t work. In addition to
that I caused myself further health problems with increased blood pressure and
high cholesterol. The stress that my
body was already experiencing was doubled because of my attempt to soothe
myself rather than use healthier methods to grieve. I have lost the weight and no longer look at
food as “medicine”.
In my next post I will discuss some suggestions for healthy
ways to help with healing on your grieving journey.
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