The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines recovery as “the
process of combating a disorder or perceived problem” and “regaining or
returning to a normal or natural state.”
Although grieving can feel like combat sometimes, most individuals would
agree that they do not return to their original normal or natural state that
they were in prior to the death of the loved one. One of the
dictionary definitions for adjustment is “a correction or modification to reflect actual conditions.” I think that more accurately reflects the process of grief and healing in order to modify or change themselves in order to reflect the “new normal” of life after the loss of the deceased.
dictionary definitions for adjustment is “a correction or modification to reflect actual conditions.” I think that more accurately reflects the process of grief and healing in order to modify or change themselves in order to reflect the “new normal” of life after the loss of the deceased.
Sometimes death is likened to the metamorphosis of the
caterpillar to a butterfly. I have also
seen this metamorphosis analogy applied to the grief journey, adjustment and
healing. A grieving individual is
changed slowly from the person they had been (the caterpillar) to the chrysalis
stage where the grieving person is in the healing cocoon before they are able
to emerge on the other side of the process as the changed or adjusted person (the
butterfly). Although this could be
looked at as a change (from caterpillar to butterfly) I think of it more of an
adjustment necessary for survival. In
this respect I see the analogy working well with the definition of grief
adjustment rather than recovery.
When a griever is faced with the daunting task of working
through the changes that need to be accomplished in order to choose to come
through the grief journey and heal it may seem insurmountable. The key is in understanding that although the
experience of death may have happened suddenly and quickly the work to be done
to grieve and heal will take time. It is
with this understanding and self-acceptance that the grieving person can begin
to build the foundation that will allow for successful adjustment and a new
chapter in that individual’s life. It
takes time, tears, and tenacity but the choice is worth it. Remember the work the caterpillar has to
accomplish in order to gain the beauty and majesty of the butterfly.
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