Now to the 7 signs of Complicated Grief. This is just a brief list of what I consider
the most serious signs that should warrant at least a consult with a
professional. There are more signs
(symptoms) that you can read about on the Mayo Clinic site.
1) Suicidal thoughts or actions
One of the most alarming signs of complicated grief
can be suicidal thoughts or actions.
This is different from the thoughts in uncomplicated grief of wanting to
join the deceased love one or wishing to change places with the deceased in
order for them to live. This is not a
sign that should be taken lightly. If there are ANY concerns regarding suicide
ideas, plans, or attempts—DO NOT WAIT—contact someone immediately. Suicide is one of the top causes of death in
the U.S. and most people will tell someone about his or her plans within days
of the event. It is better to err on the
side of caution and save a life. NationalSuicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
2) Depression or unrelenting sadness
This is not the initial sadness when thinking about
the deceased loved one. This is a deep
sadness that you can’t shake after many months that affects every part of your
life and isn’t getting better.
Depression is often a complication of complicated grief and may require
professional support and treatment.
Often in our society we say we are “depressed” when what we mean is that
we are sad or upset about a singular event—this is not the same thing as a true
depressive disorder. If you aren’t sure
what you are feeling is depression you can consult a professional who can do an
assessment with you to help you to understand what you are feeling. Depression is treatable with either talk
therapy or behavioral therapy to change the negative or faulty thinking that
lead you to be depressed and keeps you there.
In addition there are medications that have been found to be effective
in treating some forms of depression.
The National Institute of Mental Health has a website with a great deal
of helpful information about depression and where to seek help.
3) Life is No Longer Enjoyable
This sign is often associated with depression as
many of the signs/symptoms of complicated grief do overlap with depression
symptoms. For this sign the person suffering
from complicated grief may feel like they will never feel like they did before
and are merely putting one foot in front of the other as they trod through each
day. Activities and people that they use
to enjoy no longer have that same feeling.
If asked, the individual would find it practically impossible to name
anything they would want to do that would bring them joy.
4) Withdrawing from Social Activities
As the time goes by after the death of the loved one
and other people continue on with their lives, the person with complicated
grief may feel like they are alone in their grief and that they are the only
one who still cares about the loved one.
This also makes the person feel like the world around them is foreign to
them because they no longer no how to act/react in public situations. These feelings along with the feelings of
depression will keep the person from wanting to participate in social
activities and lead to isolation. This
becomes a dangerous loop because isolation makes it more difficult to move
beyond the constant thoughts about the loss and therefore keep the person from
venturing out into the world.
5) Bitterness, Anger, Irritability, Agitation
There is often guilt and anger surrounding the death
of the loved one, especially if this was a violent death. These negative feelings are not assuaged by
positive feelings and just feed upon each other and this leads to the irritability
and agitation that the person with complicated grief experiences.
6) No Hope in the Future
The person with complicated grief cannot imagine a
future without the loved one in it.
Trying to think about a future like that can bring on feelings of guilt
and anger. This can further exacerbate
the depressive feelings and make the individual feel hopeless and
helpless. Without meaning or purpose for
life the individual can see no future and is incapable of hoping for a
different future without the loved one.
7) Difficulty handling normal activities and
routines
When there is no hope or meaning, the individual has
trouble accomplishing even the most routine activity. It can be rough for the person with
complicated grief to take care of their needs, to handle daily chores, or to
concentrate enough to hold down a job. Some
people will look from the outside as if they are coping and handling their
responsibilities adequately but enternally the person is struggling to just
keep up.
Once again I would like to mention how important it
is to know the signs of complicated grief in order to seek out treatment to
prevent more serious psychological or physical disorders. In addition I want to reiterate this post and
the previous post were strictly informational and that I am neither a
psychiatrist nor a medical doctor. I
have provided links to well-known and respected sites if you would like more
information on the subject. Whenever there is any question about an
individual’s well-being a trusted member of the medical community should be
consulted.
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